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I’d like to say that honeymoon never ends, but that might create unrealistic expectations. Since unrealistic expectations are responsible for a lot of newlywed angst, I’m going to focus on some ways to build a solid marriage based on reality, not expectations.
What follows is the first installment of a three-part series emphasizing three broad areas: Faith, Fellowship, and Fun. Each contributes much to everyday marriage and perpetuates the bond you began to build during that wonderful honeymoon.
As a Christian, I believe that everything rests on faith, so let’s start with that. My faith is in God, the creator of all things and in Jesus, the “author and perfecter of faith” (Hebrews 11:3 and 12:2). This faith informs the way I live my life as an individual and as a partner in marriage.
How does this work? The best thing I do for my marital satisfaction is to nurture my faith by being in close relationship with God, the creator of marriage. The more closely I follow Him, through individual Bible study and prayer time, the more I feel loved by Him and am able to extend that love and grace to others—especially my spouse.
I learn that God is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness rebellion and sin (Exodus 34:6-7); so, I extend compassion and grace, I make effort to be slow to anger, to abound in love, and forgive the sins against me (Matthew 6:12, 14-15).
I learn that Jesus is at God’s right hand making intercessions for me (Romans 8:34); therefore, when I think my spouse is off base, I am before God interceding for him.
I learn that I’m to be thankful in all things (1 Thessalonians 5:18); so, I thank God for my spouse even when I’m not happy with him. It keeps the balance.
I learn that love, as described in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:4-8), is about what I do, not how I feel; therefore, I concentrate on showing love, rather than feeling love.
As you cultivate your faith as an individual, there are also things to do, as a couple, which will cultivate closeness between you. These are just suggestions, feel free to add to the list. As you grow individually, share that with each other. Find a church body you both feel comfortable with–worship together and serve. Share with each other the joys and difficulties of service. Go on a mission trip together. Join a small group with like values where you will be loved and supported as a couple. Spend some time studying and praying together.
I want to end by saying that our faith is to strengthen and encourage us, not to be used as a weapon of warfare against each other. So, be diligent to cultivate your faith as an individual and as a couple. The benefits are great.
