Making the Most of Family Vacations
May 10, 2010
I love vacations. I have been accused, and I can’t disagree, of having a Vacation Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I particularly enjoy family vacations to anything Disney, and trips with my wife to go diving. Why is this? I think a good part of the reason has to do with the opportunity to have fun with my wife and/or my boys. The fun with them, is ten times greater than without them.
There are a couple of commercials for Orlando that have caused me to think about this topic. In one of these commercials, a father and son are experiencing an attraction. In the middle of the attraction the father transforms into a child the same age as his son. This is initially a bit confusing as to what happened. Then the two boys cast a reflection on some surface and you see that one boys reflection is actually the fathers reflection. The other commercial is of the same concept except this time it’s a mother and daughter.
When I saw this commercial the first time, I told my wife how much I liked it. To which, she replied, “Of course you do, it’s about you.” To which I have to fully agree. There is something special about sharing fun with my family. It creates a bond and memories that I will cherish forever.
I think I come by it honestly. One of my favorite memories from my childhood, is riding the log ride at Six Flags over and over with my dad when he realized that there was virtually no line. We must have done that at least six or seven times. Even as I type this, I can’t help but feel that joy again.
Whether it is a multi-week, trip of a lifetime, or a simple day trip, vacations create special opportunities to connect with family members. As we enter the summer season and consider our vacations, put a bit of planning time into creating those truly special connections and memories.
Some ways to enhance your family vacations can include…
- Involve the entire family in the planning of the trip. With the travel books and internet sites available today, it is difficult not to be overwhelmed by information about virtually any vacation destination. Why not make the planning a family project. Encourage everyone to research and explore the possibilities. This way, each member can know they contributed to the process of organizing a trip that may have lifelong meaning.
- Create family traditions around vacations. If you are a family that goes to the same place over and over, get your picture taken in the same place and pose each year. Visit the same restaurant you all love. If you go to a variety of destinations, you could do some sort of scavenger hunt. Some families have discovered Geo-caching using their GPS. Visit a historical place or go to a museum. All these are things that can be used to connect the positive times from one year to the next.
- Do a service project together. This might be the primary focus of the entire trip, a family mission trip. It could be a one day project associated with a ministry or volunteer organization in the area you are visiting. It could be delivering supplies or some item the family has created together previous to the trip, i.e. blankets or care packages.
- Take the opportunity to teach your kids. If you are traveling by plane, and have enough time between flights. Let the kids do the work of figuring out what gate to get to for the next flight. Obviously this may not always be an option, but, in the right circumstances it can be an opportunity to teach real life thinking skills and reasoning.
- Also, take advantage of unique educational opportunities in the destinations you are visiting. A little research before hand, or upon first arrival, can reveal some pretty amazing opportunities. Upon visiting the Grand Canyon, we discovered a Jr. Ranger program. My then 9 year old son had a blast learning and exploring as he fulfilled the requirements to attain his Jr. Ranger badge and certificate. I have to admit I was quite proud of him as he took his Jr. Ranger oath. Now, all four of us have an appreciation for things we would’ve never given a second thought. For example, we spent most of a morning observing California Condors that we all learned about as he pursued his badge. Opportunities like this come in all shapes, sizes and natures. You can find them at most, if not all national parks. Even places as seemingly different from national parks, as Disney World, often offer opportunities for learning.
- Take lots of pictures and videos. With today’s technology and the ability to take hundreds of pictures, there is no reason not to overdo it. Then you will have a record of the time you spent together. Often, the pictures you cherish the most will have little to do with the destination and a lot more to do with capturing the things you love the most about your family. Some families use these pictures/videos to create scrapbooks, slide shows and even youtube style videos to commemorate their vacation.
- Be flexible and spontaneous. Purposely build in unscheduled time into the vacation. Some of the greatest memories will be things you just can’t plan. It may be as simple as laughing together over someones slip of the tongue. It may be an opportunity to observe something that just spontaneously happened. On the same trip mentioned above, we stayed in a hotel in Flagstaff. One morning our porch was visited by a Tasseled Eared Squirrel who literally tried to come into our room. The silliness of that morning is now a precious memory for our family.
Hope is a Big Word
February 21, 2010
Hope is a big word. It is what keeps us going. It is something that helps us to cope with bad times and the essence of what we celebrate in the good times. It is something that is often lacking in a therapists office. Lately, I have realized that one of my primary goals is to instill hope.
Hope is the confidence that something better is to come. Whether it is a hope that grief will pass, that we can turn a struggling marriage around or that survival will actually occur, hope helps us persevere.
A lack of Hope steals our motivation. It wrecks our energy and it halts any progress. Without hope, we have no reason to do anything. This is why it can be one of the most devastating symptoms of depression. Hopelessness is the lie that tells us “things cannot improve, in fact they are likely to get worse.” We can take harbor in the fact that it is just that, a lie.
We serve a God of hope. Look at 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” I must admit as I have contemplated faith, hope and love, it has been common to highlight faith and love and overlook hope. That’s like trying to construct a two sided triangle. Faith is dependent on hope. Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for…” If we have no hope, then we have no reason to love. Without hope, following the Christian faith offers us very little. With hope, our faith offers us and the world everything, including an eternity with the absolute source of love.
Just as the eternal optimist needs to be reminded that it isn’t always going to be pure bliss, the person caught in the grips of crisis and grief needs hope to remind him that this season will also pass. Better times are to come.
We can glean hope from a variety of places.
Sometimes, it really is true that things will soon become better. In the research world we speak of “regression to the mean.” It’s a fancy way of saying that when a circumstance varies from the norm, in all likelihood it will gravitate back towards a more normal position. So, if someone is very depressed, even without treatment the next time you evaluate their level of distress there is a likelihood that there will be some improvement. Maybe not as much as is desired, but some inching back towards normal.
Some people find hope in the simple presence of others. Knowing that others genuinely care, can go a long way. A little bit of comfort, which provides us with even the smallest amount of relief points us to the fact that greater relief and even joy is going to come.
At times, simply looking at the facts and helping someone to be more rational can prove hopeful. The more extreme the emotion, the more difficult it is to see a situation accurately. Emotions tend to exaggerate our extreme thinking, even to the point of causing us to think there is no hope. Often, simply escaping the extreme emotions and checking into a more rational state will help us to see that there really is hope.
As a Christian the greatest source of hope likely comes through our faith. This hope focuses us on God: On what he has done for us; On the value of Christ’s teaching; On His resurrection and the faith that we will someday be likewise resurrected; On eternity with Him, experiencing true joy rooted in His love. This hope focuses us on today, on his presence in the Holy Spirit, on the idea that He is in control and that we don’t have to be. It guides us to look to those thing that lift Him up and reminds us that we will be right there with him. We have so much in which to look forward and that is the essence of Hope.
It is when things look dimmest that Hope has the greatest power. It helps us to see that troubles are temporary. That, joy comes tomorrow, along with Hope, allows us to imbibe in some of that future joy today.
