Christmas Hope
December 14, 2009
Christmas… a time of hope…a time of peace…a time of joy…Hum….
Is it just me? No. I know other mothers out there are feeling the same stress and pressure of Christmas. Instead of hope, peace and joy, I find myself at times feeling tired, irritated and full of frustration. I want my kids to remember the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place. CHRIST. It seems as though all of my effort to read more scripture, teach them about Advent, and remind them to be givers, fall on deaf ears.
Sometime around the middle of November my name changed. My sweet 9 year old boy no longer called me Mama. My name changed to “Mama CanIhave”. I asked the kids to come up with a list of gifts they would like to have. That sweet little boy turned into a monster. It was like nothing I have never seen before. I received a Christmas list stapled to the toys-r-us catalog. Not only did he list fourteen video games, 5 board games, a new DS-I, an iPod touch, and a myriad of gift card requests, that sweet child had circled nearly EVERY boy item in that 50+ page catalog! (and a few girly items, too!) He also reminded that even though he knew there was no tooth fairy or Easter Bunny, he did still indeed believe in Santa Claus.
I told him that was quite a list and there was no way he would get everything on his list. His reply was, “That’s ok, mom. I’ll just give it to Grams”. Now, if you know anything about me, you know that I am never at a loss for words, but friends, I had nothing. At least nothing good. I shook my head and decided that I needed to deal with this later for fear I would say something that would crush the spirit of that nine year old boy.
I knew he needed a good “come to Jesus talk” as my mother would say. But, is it really his fault?? I created this little monster. I wanted so badly to bless my children that they now feel entitled to ask for everything. Where does this need to give to my children come from? I am a mother! I am a giver! I want to give to my children. How much more does our Heavenly Father want to give to us if only we believe?
This past Sunday in church, the pastor stated, “Giving is to teach us to be givers, not receivers”.
There is some redemption in this story. I did have a talk with my son about realistic expectations and let him know that I would need a revised list of the top 6-8 things that he really, really wanted. My name has not changed back to “mama” yet, but shortly after Christmas I know it will. My daughter, Katie, told me yesterday, that instead of a bunch of presents she thought it would be a good idea to donate to St. Jude’s in the name of our sweet friend, Charlie, who is battling cancer. Zach agreed.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
—Romans 15:13
Jamie Brandon, M.S., LMFT
Tips for Reducing Holiday Stress
December 14, 2009
With our overcommitted schedules, it is often difficult to avoid stressing
out over the holidays. Here are a few ideas to help keep you sane during
this stressful time.
- Take care of yourself. Remember to eat well, sleep well, and exercise. You will have much more energy to make things special for your family. Have healthy snacks on hand to curb the holiday munching on cookies and candies.
- Set limits and a budget. Make a list of all of the people you have to buy for and how much you plan to spend on each person. Keep a running list of the gifts you have purchased. This will keep you from overspending.
- Be realistic. Sit down with a calendar and set realistic goals. How much time do you have each week to devote to shopping and cooking? Block out time on your schedule to prioritize the most important things.
- Do not expect perfection. Unrealistic expectations are a major cause of stress.
- Delegate. Ask for help with shopping and food preparation. Ask everyone to bring along a dish to family get-togethers. This spreads the expense and the time.
- Prioritize. Remember that you don’t have to attend every open house and holiday party. Practice saying, “No thank you. We already have plans for that date, but, thank you for the invitation.”
- Don’t forget to breathe. Take three deep cleansing breaths each morning and each evening. This will help keep the oxygen flowing and you will recall this skill during times of high stress.
