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Even
Caring Families Encounter Problems...but Healthy Families Seek Solutions
 Give us
a call at 918.745.0095
Brenda, Rachel, Tina or Terri are available to help!
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Dear Friends,
Welcome
to the second Christian Family Institute (CFI) December Newsletter. We
are pleased to bring you a mid-December newsletter with additional
articles to thrive during the Christmas and holiday season. Please feel
free to forward this on to friends and family who might benefit from
the information using the link at the bottom of the page.
Breaking
news! Congratulations are in order to Dr. Dale Doty, the new
President-Elect of Oklahoma Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
(OKAMFT). A recent article of Dr. Doty's is
featured in this edition of CFI's newsletter. We are also featuring a
top-ten list by Dr. Bill Berman and an article by Mr. Bowden McElroy.
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Dealing
with Family Conflict
Christmas
and the surrounding holidays provide an
opportunity for celebrations and get-togethers with family members. For
some, the Christmas season is
truly a celebration. For others,
the holidays are a time of disappointment, hurt, and conflict.
Common
issues that emerge at this time of year may include:
- Family
members who abuse alcohol and other substances
- Family
members with psychiatric
- Family
members who have long standing conflicts
- Marital
problems or divorce
- Incompatible
lifestyles, or different beliefs and values
To
handle the anticipated unpleasant get-togethers with some
of these troublesome people, consider several strategies:
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It is often best to meet at
someone else's house
so you can leave when you want to.
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Choose not to be alone with the
ones you have
the most trouble with. Stay in
groups.
-
Keep visits with the troublesome
people
short. If conflict emerges, excuse
yourself
-
Drive yourself to the event, or
have someone
drive you that will agree to leave the event when you are ready to
leave.
You
can participate in a limited way without having to
either make yourself too uncomfortable or eliminate yourself completely
from
the family gathering. Also, family
therapy for extended or family-of-origin issues can empower you and
help you
know your options for keeping your peace during the holidays.
These
tips are taken from the full article from Dr. Doty
found here.
Dale Doty, M.S.W., Ph.D.
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Dr.
Berman's Top 10 List
Everything I always wanted to ask about Christmas as a Jewish child but
was afraid to ask my Rabbi:
10. Why does Santa Claus think he's God? (He knows when you are
sleeping and awake, bad and good!)
9. Why are there so many Christmas carols that don't mention Christ?
8. Why do Jewish store owners sing "What a friend we have in Jesus"?
7. Why do Gentiles try so hard all year long to keep house plants
alive, then go buy a dead tree and cover it with things that don't grow
on trees?
6. Why do Gentiles celebrate with alcohol at parties in preparation for
such a holy day?
5. Why pay retail when everything goes on sale next week?
4. Why do some Gentiles make such a big deal about Christmas and never
even go to church?
3. Do I have to believe in Santa Claus in order to become a Christian?
2. Does it cost more to celebrate Christmas than Chanuka?
1. If Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and celebration, why do
so many people get depressed?
Dr.
Berman is a born-again Christian who was raised Jewish.
William B. Berman, Ph.D.
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Christmas...
a time of hope...a time of peace...a time of
joy...Hum....
Instead
of hope, peace and joy, I find myself at times
feeling tired, irritated and full of frustration. I want my kids to
remember the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place.
CHRIST. Sometime around the middle of November my name change to "Mama
CanIhave". I asked the kids to come up with a list of gifts they
would like to have. I
received a Christmas list stapled to the toys-r-us catalog. Not only
did
he list fourteen video games, 5 board games, a new DS-I, an iPod touch,
and a
myriad of gift card requests, that sweet child had circled nearly EVERY
boy
item in that 50+ page catalog! (and a few girly items, too!) He
also reminded that even though he knew there was no tooth fairy or
Easter
Bunny, he did still indeed believe in Santa Claus. I shook my head and
decided that I needed to deal with this
later for fear I would say something that would crush the spirit of
that nine
year old boy. I knew he needed a good "come to Jesus talk" as my
mother would say. But, is this entirely his fault?? I wanted so badly
to bless my children that they now feel entitled to ask for everything.
Where
does this need to give to my children come from? I am a
mother! I am a giver! I want to give to my children. How much
more does our Heavenly Father want to give to us if only we believe?
This
past Sunday in church, the pastor stated, "Giving is to teach us to be
givers,
not receivers".
There
is some redemption in this story. I did
have a talk with my son about realistic expectations. My name has not
changed back to "mama" yet, but shortly after Christmas I know it will.
My
daughter told me yesterday, that instead of a bunch of presents she
thought
it would be a good idea to donate to St. Jude's in the name of our
sweet friend
who is battling cancer. My son agreed.
May
the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace
in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in
hope.
-Romans
15:13
 Jamie Brandon, M.S., LMFT
This
article can be viewed in full here. |
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We
hope your holiday season is blessed! If CFI can be of any assistance
during the holidays, please contact us.
Sincerely,
Timothy Doty, Psy.D. on behalf of
Christian Family Institute
Our
Staff includes:
Dale R. Doty, Ph.D.
William B. Berman, Ph.D.
G. Bowden McElroy, M.Ed.
Eric L. Clements, M.S.
Jill E. Butler, M.S.
Salley Sutmiller, M.S.
Lois K. Trost, M.S.W.
Jamie Brandon, M.S.
Amber R. Sherrell, M.S.
Timothy D. Doty, Psy.D.
Stephen Harnish, M.D. |
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