Significant Change in "Normal" Behavior

While there are occasions when someone may significantly hurt him or herself "out of the blue", most cases involve warning signs. The problem is that most of us don’t notice them! There are a few things you can be looking for. First, and foremost is a significant change in behavior, such as increased drug use, moodiness that appears to be over and above "normal", withdrawal from either friends or family, and an increase in impulsive high-risk behaviors (Debski et al., 2007).

Perhaps most common is the proverbial "change in friends." Rather than spending time with the friends your teenager has had since the 5th grade, he or she may begin to bring some "new" kids over to the house. While it is good for your teenager to branch out, meet new people and make new friends, most often this group of friends is the one your parents told you about when you were a teenager. They look and act in a manner inconsistent with your values and will often result in you making statements like "I just don’t like his friends" and "things really started to change when ‘so and so’ started coming around." While a significant change in friends does not mean your teenager is thinking about suicide, this change often comes with many of the other warning signs such as doing drugs, the onset of a depressed mood, a drop in school performance, and run-in’s with the police.

Suicidal Statements

Second, making statements about suicide or expressing some type of preoccupation with death should be taken seriously. For some these types of behaviors can become so common that you may begin to ignore them. If you find this to be the case, please consult a mental health specialist immediately. Suicidal statements, even those that are passive in nature (i.e. "You guys would be better off without me"), need to be taken seriously and addressed directly. Some studies have found that as many as 83% of teenagers who successfully killed themselves made a verbal threat to do so during the week prior to completion (Brent, 1995, as cited by Rubin, Wainrib, & Bloch, 1998).

Symptoms of Depression

Because depression is so closely related to suicide, the symptoms of depression and teenage suicide should be closely monitored. Symptoms include (Debski et al., 2007):

Major changes in eating or sleeping habits (too much or too little of either)

Expressions of hopelessness, guilt, shame, or worthlessness

Intense anger toward self and/or others

Drop in school performance

Loss of interest in usual activities (ie. quiting the football team)

Self-Harming or Cutting

Studies have shown that teenagers who deliberately hurt themselves (i.e. cutting) are 4 to 10 times more likely to die (Goldachre, & Hawton, 1985; Hawton & Harris, 2007, both as cited by Hargus, Hawton, & Rodham, 2009) and as many as 70% of teenagers who reported an act of self-harm also reported at least one suicide attempt (55% reported multiple attempts) (Nock, Joiner, Gordon, Lloyd-Richardson, & Prinstein, 2006, as cited by Hargus, Hawton, & Rodham, 2009). That is pretty alarming! You should take self-harming behaviors very seriously.

Significant changes in behavior, making suicidal statements, symptoms of depression, and cutting/self-harm are all behaviors that can very easily get "lost" in the day to day busyness of life. That is why it is so important for you to do what you can to connect with your teenager on a regular basis. Your teenager doesn’t need you to breath down their neck (and most likely will let you know this on regular basis) but they most definitely need and want the adults in their life to show them that they care.

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*** Any advice given on this website is offered in generic form. In other words, all of our site visitors have unique qualities that play a role in their personal mental health. We do not know you personally and can therefore not take into consideration these qualities when offering advice, and do not claim to do so. All information provided on this site is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between a patient/site visitor and his/her existing psychologist, mental health professional, teacher, or professor. ***

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Written by Joseph James, Psy.D.

REFERENCES

Debski, J., Spadafore, C. D., Jacob, S., Poole, D., & Hixon, M. D. (2007). Suicide intervention: Training, roles, and knowledge of school psychologists. Psychology in the Schools, 44(2), 157-170.

Hargus, E., Hawton, K., Rodham, K. (2009). Distinguishing between subgroups of adolescents who self-harm. Suicide & Life-Threatening Behaviors, 39(5), 518-537.

Rubin Wanrib, B., Bloch, E. L. (1998). Crisis intervention and trauma response: Theory and response. Springer Pub, NY.

White, T. W. (1999). How to identify suicidal people: A systemic approach to risk assessment. The Charles Press Publishers, Inc., PA.